Conversations With Myself
don't happen too often
Saturday
How
How to make happen on the go
How to flow with the flow
How to put on a show
How to fail, follow and lead
How to thunder, storm and recede
How to command, conquer and concede
How to draw the line from worth to deed
How to walk on without a clue
How to man a galleon without a crew
How to lie about things that aren’t true
How to do you
How to make more money much too fast
How to make a million moments last
How to unroll a die you didn’t cast
How to pray a path through the pangs of the past
How to nurse a future scar
How to take the wheel of your rollercoaster car
How to be farther when you’re already far
How to water pain in the winter sun
How to do nothing that needs be done
How to love those you can’t for fun
How to mourn something before it’s begun
How to laugh the wrong way
How to hurt the right way
How to sing anyway
How to heal another day
How to be generous without keeping score
How to cut the charade from every chore
How to break a window when you’re shown the door
How to find what you’re looking for
Monday
Plastic
Mine is a plastic love. Produced readily, pollutes easily. It can take on any colour and sometimes let you see right through. Lethal in small doses, fatal otherwise. Tender and toxic. It is the fabric of dollhouses, the stuff of garbage. An elastic love that stretches itself, and the limits of what it can do. It has survived a hundred years, and will endure a thousand more. Useless and useful and listless and wistful. It can destroy a planet and often be a fistful. It is the algae laced bottom of a water bottle, the hard yellow hat of a construction worker at the throttle. The kind you hate on the internet and heart in real life. The inflatable raft in an infinity pool, a lifejacket. The junk that fills rooms and takes over the streets. Held to the lips and knocked around by shoes. You can always tell when it’s burning, it can suffocate. It smoulders. You can bend it but never tear it. Negate it but never compare it. You can share it. It is not degradable.
Commute
Sunday
Free
Tuesday
The Writer's Creed
Fear not the hour you were born or the piece of paper you were carefully, carelessly or precariously committed to. Fear not the thought that engendered you or the hesitation that endangered you. Fear not the fingers that typed you or the pen that scribbled you. Fear not the blocks that held you back. Fear not.
Thursday
Tungsten
She’s a short burst of hard laughter, the rock lead in a jazz ballad. She has aces in her eyes and a story up her sleeve. She is hard talk and small talk and no talk at all. She's a long night at a packed bar, a short flight next morning. She’s a welcome contradiction.
She’s soft cheer and sure grace. She pulls off a gown and a frown with the easiest of ease. She sways to no music, makes you swoon to her tune, she swings like no one’s watching. She dresses up and dresses down, and stuns you every time. She sports mascara but never a mask. She wears no airs.
She’s the darkest heaven and the brightest hell. She flits through time, without a thing to prove, like warm poetry on a trapeze. She leads firms, and lays terms, and takes what’s coming to her. She runs the show. She runs as deep as still waters go. She should run for president.
She’ll sting you with her honesty and nurse you with her presence. She knows no compulsion and only says what she means. She’ll flood you with answers and still leave you guessing. She walks like a tiger and runs like a child. She's pure fire and raw rain, her mind holds no regret. She’s the flicker of the filament of a bright yellow bulb. She is tungsten.
Wednesday
The End
Tuesday
Smug
Wednesday
Light
And, as I gaze into you and turn away when your eyes meet mine, as I seek you out through panes of stained glass even though nothing obstructs my view, I find words. I'm at the cusp. I run the back of my finger against the brick wall to pause for a second. I want this to be real. I want my words to be true. I pause for a second second when I recall your name has much to do with the truth. I utter your name in silence, you can't see me grin after, and realise the hour is right. I'm at the cusp. No, we're at the cusp. Between a love immortal and one that never existed. Walking the thin line between hope and its lessness. I know lessness isn't an actual word but there's no reason it shouldn't be. We're on the verge of something extraordinary every single moment we're together, this one included. And in this moment, you and I are standing at the threshold of our futures. I believe they're intertwined, like our fingers are used to being.
Why did I leave that table? Sitting across you, inches apart, your feet occasionally brushing mine, I didn't have to. Conversations are a distraction, especially when the only thing on your mind is the only thing you want to talk about. Instinctively, I stood up, polished the last of my wine and stepped out. It wasn't the cigarette alone that drew me away. There would be another. It wasn't the cigarettes alone. I wanted to numb the noise, blur the whirl, and find some focus. And, I did. I lit up, looked up, and there you were. You and the candle, only. I wondered which one was illuminating the other. You threw me inspiration, I caught it. Each time the thin white haze cleared, I saw you. I see you. The way I've always seen you. You look radiant in the candlelight as I sit here writing these words, stealing a glimpse or two of the woman I love.
Ordinary
A taker of space
You are a thinker of things
A forgetter of names
You are older than yesterday
Younger than tomorrow
Taller than your standing
Smaller than your ego
You are a maker of sound
A crasher of gates
You are a flipper of coins
A feeler of pain
You are harder than cloth
Heavier than light
Better than your worst
Faster than your stride
You are a soaker of sun
A watcher of waves
You are a breather of air
A catcher of rain
You are this and that
You are one or another
The only thing you are not, however,
Is ordinary