Monday, 23 October 2006

Disintegration

Fucking in the Bushes.. Never thought the track had enough in it to bring out the vengeance in me waiting to unleash itself at some point or another. But then I guess its just the average Indian rage boiling over, the line that divides actuation and inaction seems to have vanished into the thick blue sky that looms large somewhere overhead. They say it’s a gift to be able to get inspired by anything around you but then sometimes one can be so muddled up that the smallest things seem so deep, so beyond the world we see around us, in this case, the offensive one-lined OST of a bloody Brit flick some genius directed at poor sons-of-guns jobless enough to spare the time to download it off the net. Often wonder if music is indeed meant to soothe, I could swear I’ve seen a darker, more deceptive side of it in recent weeks and quite a few of the lot would have to agree. Its ridiculous how a song of said name could end with “life is beautiful.. I’m all for it”, it’s the kind of music that’d topple entire nations overnight if one actually gave it the time to sink in. And the bushes of all places, those Gall fucks sure have some skeletons in their closets. It wouldn’t surprise me if the song was a tribute to some sorry true life incident. It’d sure be interesting to know what kinda sick guy would be inspired to do it there in the first place and then make a record off it. If we all stopped to wonder bout every thing that lives, breathes or is simply present within a short radius of every step we take, it’d probably give us enough to fill up an entire library. And then one stray match ends it all. Just realized I’m sadistic, finally something bout myself I won’t be loathing anymore. Violence does have a subtle beauty I’ve failed to recognize all this while, it brings about the realization that we are human, it is our curse and as much as we try to deny it, the cure is just a loaded gun away. Look out the window and you’ll see life’s just a four-letter word you’d rather scratch on some college bench waiting till a coat of paint takes care of it so you get to have another go.

Monday, 15 May 2006

Guilty

Accusations often evoke emotions varying between defiance and submission. Wrote this one as a memory of my tryst with a guilt that was never mine.

Through rising smoke
That clouds dry vision
I watch her grow till
She drowns the light
Its hard being human
When you're asked
To pay the price, they've
Sentenced me to stark
Desertion, played cruelty
Against every honest move
The phoenix once rose
Then they killed the myth

Questions crowd, they won't
Let go, what happened
To the beauty I had inside
Of me, a childhood that
Taught love for enemies
Finds subtle sadism the
Answer to predicaments
You say I was wrong
I couldn't agree more
Its criminal to offer a hand
Treachery smiles behind
Those who serve without
Greed, but then it is greed
To reach out, greed that
Drives innocents to lust
For a share in salvation
Thats slowly escaping us all

They nailed Him, you strike
Again, nailing me against
The reason I stand defiant
These blows never cease
Till your righteous whims
Have found their end,
Its pleasure watching men
Wresting away a stray tear
You've mocked my pleas,
Taken me down roads
Fugitives tread and I
Intrude into the shady
Realm of those losing
Sight of purpose at a
Time where agony gives
Way to ecstasy, I marvel
At the ignorance that
Justifies your actions, it all
Comes back, I see it in
Little eyes disguising an
Outburst that'll shatter
Fickle pride and bring you
Where I stand now, yet you
Won't see the other side
I now dream to set foot on,
Your white lies stare you in
The face while I struggle
In my return to innocence
Knowing truth will prevail,
I was meant to..